Monday, March 7, 2016

DON'T EVER LISTEN TO NETFLIX.

For the last few months, Netflix has been telling me to watch "High School Musical".
Every time I sign on, there it is, waiting for me in the "You might also like..." section. Zac Efron's pre-pubescent face is just grinning at me through all the self tanner.

I mean, it's my own fault that it's there. Netflix knows I've been watching every single episode of Glee for the last few months, so they clearly assume I love all things smarmy and full of teenage singing. It's all part of a not-super-complicated algorithm to make me watch endless hours of people singing Journey while wearing overly-sequined costumes. I'm convinced of it.

I finally caved.
 Michael was out for the day so I figured I'd watch it. I mean, how bad could it be?
As soon as the first song started, I was like:

Somehow I couldn't turn it off. The acting was bad. The songs were terrible.
And yet somehow, I watched it.
And then I watched High School Musical 2 immediately after.
Because Netflix told me to so I did.
#nowillpower

The real problem wasn't that I soon realized I had wasted 3 hours of my life on two movies that I assume were written by 14 year olds... but rather that those movies kept haunting me through the night.

My dreams that evening?
ALL. LIKE. HIGH. SCHOOL. MUSICAL.
Everything that happened in them had a part where someone would break into song. And naturally everyone would start singing along. Duh.
This included a work dream nightmare where one of my coworkers started singing about Excel spreadsheets. I kid you not.

It wasn't awesome or full of magic. It was terrible.
I kind of just wanted to scream at everyone.

What did we learn from this, kids?
We learned that you should never listen to Netflix when they tell you that you might like High School Musical.

Because they're wrong.

You won't.

Just go back to watching House of Cards or Fixer Upper like you had planned, and you'll be so. much. happier.


xo, lp

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